Part III

Actually, this section should probably be called “Platform Planks and Strategery,” as we’ll be covering both, but this works.

Platform Planks

So the next question that logically follows is…what kinds of things help them get (and/or keep) “more”?  Again, that’s easy, and you’ll find many Republican talking points living here:

• Fewer Corporate Regulations (tiresome things, really, and a drag on profits)
• Less Corporate Responsibility
• Lower Corporate Taxes
• Lower Taxes for the Wealthy (those who own the corporations, their friends, and families)
• NO MORE “DEATH TAXES!!” (this doesn’t really affect some 98% of the population, but it helps preserve familial fortunes, leading to higher long term concentrations of wealth that in turn helps preserve the status quo!  (They’re actually called Estate Taxes, but “Death Taxes” sounds scary, and “scary” is one of the cornerstone strategies of Conservatism, as we’ll discuss later!  For now…just keep it in the back of your mind)
• Corporate Welfare (Conservatives like to make much of so-called “Welfare Queens” and how much they cost us as a society, while politely ignoring or downplaying the massive sucking sound that corporate pigs make as they suckle from the endless fountains of money the government showers over them—Most large cap companies in the US pay no income tax at all, many get generous subsidies, tax breaks (federal, state, and municipal), free roads, buildings, parking lots, utilities, etc., etc., they don’t clean up their own messes and we don’t make them, they aren’t good citizens…the list goes on, but it’s soooo much easier to point at the welfare mother who buys a carton of smokes a week with cash while using food stamps for food and pointing to that as the “major problem,” while the other goes completely unmentioned – again, more on this later!)
• Corporations are People too! (they aren’t, but this was a big, big win for the Conservatives)
• Money = Speech (ref: the landmark court case recently that allows companies to spend in unlimited amounts in support of political candidates)

You get the picture, yes?  Anything that benefits the wealthy and the companies they own MUST, by definition, be a good thing for ‘murica.  Here…have some of the Kool-Aid…you’ll love it!

As naked in their motives and ambitions as the Corporatists are, they’ve forged an alliance with an unlikely group, and it has served both of the major segments of the Conservatives very well for a number of years, and this other group’s motives are often downright murky.  We’ll talk about them more in-depth later, but for now, let me simply introduce them.  I am, of course, speaking of the “Religious Right,” and this is where we get the notion that Jesus was a Republican, the Conservative claim to supremacy in matters of moral authority, the anti-choice platform plank, the whole “family values” thing (shout out to that rabidly anti-gay Conservative Reverend who got caught boinking his male…”attendant.” – the luggage carrier…nice!), and mingled with a little old testament righteous anger to give us pro-death, pro-torture, and anti-every-other-religion.

Mix the two in a large pot, stir well, let simmer for a few decades, and you get modern Conservatism.

So, that speaks to motive and motivation.  These things (the issues outlined above) are the hot-button issues in the minds of Conservatives everywhere.  They’re the glue that binds the groups together and creates a sense of common purpose.  We’ll be debating the merits of that purpose later, but for now, we leave them, and move onto the question of strategy.

Conservatives really aren’t very good at the whole strategy thing.  No…that’s untrue and unclear…allow me to explain.  Conservatives are extremely good at executing the strategies they have, but they’re not terribly creative, and they don’t really have too many strategies they rely on.  Their main strategies are listed below, along with details on how, when, and why they are employed:

• Playing the Victim – It really is remarkable.  The Republican party has always been a minority in this country, and I think this is what gave the religious right (one “wing” of the Republican base, as mentioned previously) their sense of victimization.  As a minority group, they’ve never, on their own, been able to push significant portions of their agenda through to the fore, and it bothers them.  Chiefly, it bothers them because they KNOW that they are right.  They know it and believe it with evangelical fervor, and because they are right…because God has spoken to them and made His Will known, Democracy ceases to really matter.  Thus, we see such things as the “creative mathematics” performed during the health care debate, where the Conservatives, unable to stop reform from happening, and despite more than 200 Republican sponsored amendments being included, could not bring themselves (not even a single member!) to endorse the bill, and further, “cooked the books” to make it appear that the majority of Americans were against health care reform (the most often cited figure was 59% against).Unfortunately for the Republicans, when you look more deeply into that figure, you discover that fully 13 of those 59 percentage points DID, in fact, like the bill, but thought it wasn’t not liberal enough!  And when you stop pretending those folks “were against health care reform,” you discover the Republican-led minority of 46%, vs. the more liberal majority of 52% (and one has to believe that had the disinformation campaign not been so all consuming and pervasive, that the margin would have been even wider).But so much for Democracy.  Despite the fact that theirs was not the majority opinion, they were insistent that their vision of health care reform be pursued.  Interestingly, although they had six years with total control of both the Executive and Legislative branches of government (a large window in which to execute their vision for health care reform), it was never even mentioned.  Even when the Republicans are in the majority (reference most of the Bush years, when they managed to control Congress and the office of the President), they still played the victim.  Blaming Fate, God, bad timing, previous Democratic laws, “the left wing conspiracy,” and in general, finding a whole host of other reasons why their policies weren’t producing the new gilded age that had been promised, and they had to, really, because once you make it known that the Emperor has no clothes…

  Oh yes.  The Republicans can (and do!) do the victim thing very well.  Christianity is under siege.  Family values are under siege.  Our borders are under siege.  Our way of life is under siege.  All by the dangerous radical left (well, and the “Muslin” terrorists, who are in cahoots with us), of course.  But never fear, the Republicans have the answer!  And what, you might ask, is the answer?  Read just below:

• Lower Taxes! – Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the answer to all this country’s woes is contained in those two simple words.  It is the Alpha and Omega of Republican thinking.  For every problem, there is one, ultimate solution.  LOWER TAXES!  Here’s a great example of how well that works:When President Clinton left office, the nation was in the midst of the largest economic expansion in history.  Not just the history of the USA, by the way, but the history of the world.  More wealth had been created over the span of years that Clinton was in office, than at any prior point in history.  Period.We were so awash in wealth, good fortune, and global good will that we even had a budgetary surplus for the first time in about half of forever, and there was talk about actually retiring debt!  It was fantastic!

  When George H. W. Bush took over, he told his base that the long period of darkness was at an end, and a new age was about to begin…he was certainly right about that last part, and he set about to work, re-making America according to the image held by the Conservatives, and one of the first things to be done?  LOWER TAXES, of course!

  Not for everyone though.  For “his base.”  That means, people who make more per month than you make in a whole year.  You and me?  Our tax bill barely budged, but it was ‘let the good times roll’ for the uber-rich, who got generous tax cuts and even more generous government subsidies and kickbacks.

  Needless to say, it didn’t take long for the budgetary surplus to evaporate.

  Then add on a war in Iraq (paid for “off the books”, so as to make the budgetary picture appear rosier).

  Then add on a war in Afghanistan (again, paid for “off the books,” and for the same reasons as above).

  Then add in a $644 Billion dollar corporate feeding trough given to Big Pharma Companies (again, also called “The Republican Base”), in the form of Medicare Part D.

  Factor in a big hurricane or two, 9/11, and the worst economic climate since the Great Depression (courtesy of more of that de-regulation and lack of corporate oversight), and we get the reasons that the Republicans were collectively shown the door at the end of GHW Bush’s term.

• Fearmongering – You see the genesis of this strategy back in the first bullet point.  EVERYTHING is under attack.  It’s almost as pathetic as the left’s “PC Movement” and the obsessive need to declare a “war” on everything (though the right has done an above average job with adopting this latter approach as well).  To reiterate, we are under attack.  Our faith is under attack.  Our way of life is under attack.  So is the Free Market, our national borders, our language, our cultural identity, etc., etc., etc.  The list is endless really.  If you can think it…if someone on the left has ever thought about it at any point in history…it’s under attack.  Got it?And because it is under attack, the obvious solution is to call in the Republicans, who speak with the absolute moral authority and certitude of demagogues, have them froth at it a bit, lower some taxes, remove a few business regulations and magically, the problem will go away…except of course that it never does.  Like the “Wars” on various things (poverty, crime, drugs, and now terror), they are ceaseless and unending things.  It is the same with the various “treasured virtues” that the Republicans have set themselves up as the guardians of.  They must be ever-vigilant.  Ever on their guard, and it will be expensive, but…not so expensive that we can’t afford a few tax breaks for the rich!See…people who are afraid are easier to control.  You’re more likely to give up a few freedoms to feel safe that way (and that’s a close paraphrase from a senior Bush administration official, by the way), and that’s what they want.  A fearful serf is an easily controlled serf.  They can dress it up all they want…they can make whatever excuses or justifications they want, but at the end of the day, that’s the truth.

  So when you hear that the terrorists will come get you in your sleep (you are vastly more likely to die from a lightning strike, btw), or that the “brown people” from south of the border will steal all your money, or your jobs, or your daughter, or whatever, or that if gays are allowed to hold hands with their partners it’ll rip the fabric of the Universe, or any of the other phobias that are being hyped up in the news (usually with Fox leading the charge), if you look at who’s standing behind the curtain, you’ll usually see a Conservative, and that brings us nicely ‘round to the next strategy, closely related to this one:

• Hatemongering – Just as our stalwart Conservative defenders try to convince you that the sky is falling and everything about baby Jesus and ‘murica is under relentless assault, we must put a face to the attackers.  We must give you a target to demonize, so you can better blame someone (someone other than the Conservatives, of course).Sadly, the days of the Cold War are over, so we can no longer lay blame for everything under the sun at the feet of the old Soviet Empire.  That was easy and convenient.  Today, we have to be a little more creative, but no worries!  Over the decades, the Conservatives have been busy crafting a number of suitable alternative bogey men.  In no particular order they are:The Terrorists – Whether it’s Al’Q, the Taliban, or some other (invariably Muslim) group, you can always count on the agents of terror lurking behind every door, around every shadowy corner, and just beneath the surface of…well, almost anything actually.  Their amorphous, phantom nature makes them the perfect villains, and wonderful targets to blame nearly any misery on.

  The Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy – Failing a readily available terror group to blame, the old stand by is simply “the left.”  Those smarmy, educated intellectual elites who aren’t “real Americans” at all, and could quite possibly be aliens from another world.  If they are, you can bet your bottom dollar that they live on a planet where Communism reigns supreme.  They are insidious, nearly all-knowing, and they are bent on….well, either Socialism, Communism or Fascism, and probably some strange amalgamation of all three…whatever it is, you can bet it’s not good and it will result in your utter enslavement.

  Actually, when you start pressing for specifics, it doesn’t take long to realize that many of the things they accuse the terror groups or the left-wing conspiracy of are things that they’re either doing right now (secret prisons, torture, spying on US citizens, holding “suspected terrorists” indefinitely, and without bail (bah!  Who needs “due process” anyways!), and so forth), or desperately wish they were doing, which brings me to their next strategy:

• Reversi – This is actually one of my favorite games to watch the Conservatives play, mostly because it is so fascinating.  The rules of the game go something like this:

There are a lot of things we dearly want to do, but we don’t want to come out and say so.  Instead, we’ll say one thing, and do the opposite.  A variant of this is that we’ll accuse some other group of doing the very thing we’re TRYING to do, thusly:

Because we want to set up a Corporate Feudal State where nearly every aspect of your life is controlled by your benevolent Corporate Lords and Masters, we’ll invent the myth of the left’s “Nanny State,” and make you afraid of that, all the while introducing you to the joys of “Big Brother.”

We’ll tell you that the “Left-Wing Conspiracy” wants to set up a Nanny State to watch your every move, and that we want a small, efficient government.  And then, right after we tell you that, we’ll expand the federal government, allow warrantless wire-tapping on an industrial scale, and shred the Constitution in the name of keeping you safe (newsflash:  You cannot defend a thing by destroying it.  In military parlance, this is called “scorched earth,” and it’s as unpleasant for the people doing it as it is for the enemies they’re doing it against…in politics, our enemies aren’t hurt by it in the least, so all the damage falls on our own people…in other words, it’s a non-starter from the get-go).

We’ll tell you that we’re victims, even while we control both houses of congress and the White House, because victims get more attention, and many of us are, frankly, media whores, who eat it up.  Also, if we play the victim card, we distract you with that reversi-misdirection so you don’t think too long, or too hard about how we’re victimizing YOU.

We’ll tell you we respect the common man, and only have his best interests at heart, while cutting (or gutting) social programs designed to help the common man, and issuing more tax cuts and corporate welfare checks to our “base.”  We’ll also oppose every attempt (that we can get away with opposing…we’re not stupid!) at reigning in corporations, who have a long and utterly unquestioned history of abuse (but hey!  They’re our base, so of course we’ll overlook such details).

Where health care is concerned, we’ll cry foul regarding utterly fictitious government “death panels,” while blithely ignoring the corporate death panels currently run by our sponsors, who don’t mind pulling the plug on grandma, so long as it means a +0.0025% increase in this quarter’s profits.  The former is obviously Communism.  The latter…well, that’s just good business, and remember, what’s good for business is good for America (tho grandma might not agree)!

We’ll accuse the left of Fascism, even though it makes no sense (Fascism exists as the end-point at the right of the political spectrum), and pretend that our desire to marry corporate power with governmental is…something else.  Probably something warm, fuzzy, and wonderful.  If someone calls us on it, we’ll drop Fascism (for the moment, at least) and revert back to Communism/Socialism…anything to distract you from our own Fascist leanings.

The list just goes on and on, but you get the idea.  Most anything the right-wing pundits say…nearly every position they take, is a form of the reversi-game.  They’ve been doing it for so long that it’s nearly second nature to them.  They project all their own failings onto the left, the terrorists, or some other demonized group, heaping all their venom and hatred upon that group, all the while pursuing an agenda spookily similar to the very thing they say they’re attacking.

It is as fascinating to behold as it is frightening.

And finally, there’s:

• Repitition – Say something often enough, and at least some people will believe it, or at least begin to question, so repeat after me:  DEATH PANELS, DEATH PANELS, DEATH PANELS!  A MAJORITY OF AMERICANS OPPOSE HEALTH CARE REFORM!  A MAJORITY OF AMERICANS OPPOSE HEALTHCARE REFORM!  IRAQ HAS THE BOMB!  IRAQ HAS THE BOMB!  IRAQ HAS THE BOMB!  9/11 WAS AN IRAQI PLOT! 9/11 WAS AN IRAQI PLOT! 9/11 WAS AN IRAQI PLOT! See how that works?  Just keep repeating the same mantra over and over again and people will start to believe, no matter how far from the truth it actually is.If you are not sure what to say, just tune in to your choice of Limbaugh, Beck, or Palin, and they will issue further instructions.  Whatever you do, DO NOT THINK!  This is important.  We have already done all the thinking necessary on the matter.  Your job is simply to parrot the talking points (like a good little “ditto-head,” remember?)  Do that, and with a bit of luck, the Republicans will sweep back into power soon!Here’s another example – If you find yourself in a debate with a liberal, and he starts to get the better of you, just remember:  Logic doesn’t matter.  Facts don’t matter.  All you have to do is adopt the Fox News “Bill-O” strategy of shouting your opponent down and/or cutting off their microphone.  Debate is then reduced to simply being able to yell the loudest, which is easy when you control the juice to the other guy’s microphone, so you’re all set!  This is a wonderful subset of the repetition strategy…rather than reiterate some talking point, just scream “shut up!” at the opposition till they go away (and remember folks, fair and balanced! – uh huh).

And that, my friends, covers the greater bulk of Republican “strategery” on the political scene.  Read it, learn it, and be aware of it.  After you’ve read and absorbed this, watching Fox Noise is a whole new experience!

So…now that we have a decent overview of Conservative motive and motivation, it’s time to jump into the way-back machine and take a closer look at the “thought behind the thought.”

All the underlying stuff that nobody likes to talk about that made us the way we are today.